Shark Alert!

   All too often I find myself apologizing for a hiatus between blogs.  In this instance, the hiatus must have stretched to damn near six weeks.  As the Mexican gardeners next door might say, "Lo ciento." 

This bank was recently a forest of Monstera

   The first four weeks, give or take, were taken up visiting our children and grandchildren in the greater Portland area. The last four days of that off island excursion were devoted to my one and only nephew's wedding in San Rafael, California.  The penultimate point of the latter was a conga line, led by my nephew Andrew,  to a stirring Celtic rendition of Scotland the Brave and Smoke on the Water.

   Here is a link to the Youtube video which you migh find useful as a musical backdrop to the rest of the blog.

 https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=J4aUPC0zMok

   My sister in law claims to have a video of the actual conga line, but it is apparently being with held to protect the innocent.

   Having escaped the redwoods, we made it back to Casa Ono where our worst fears were realized.  During our absence, Beelzebub, who just happens to live next door, had his Mexican gardeners uproot and remove the plantings five feet deep into our yard.  You may recall the previous entry on the coqui frog.  He explained to our house sitters that, in the name of coqui prevention,  we actually wanted him to do

"Menpachiland, Menpachiland!  God shed his grace on thee."

this. A few days before we returned, Old Smoky departed for Japan.  With any luck, a latter day samurai has thrown him into a wok, stir fried him with some ginger and onions and fed him to Godzilla.  That's what I call justice.  Which would be good, because we ain't gettin' any here.  When appraised of the devastation, the local constabulary said that they don't know nothin' 'bout no property lines and they couldn't care less.  But just in case, they took down my name ... as if I was the transgressor.

   Suffice it to say, for the last week we have been doing some gardening in lieu of snorkeling.  We did get to go swimming once, a few days ago at the pier.  The water was cool and cloudy, as until today the surf has been up.  We saw little, literally, except for right by the pier itself, where a family of menpachi has established a stronghold.  Those epaulette soldierfish are living in the no fishing zone created by the Department of Homeland Security.  They, at least, have something for which to thank President Trump.

Swim through El Tenedor del Diablo at your ow risk.

   In consideration of this boon, the soldierfish wrote a little anthem:

Menpachiland, Menpachiland!  God shed his grace on thee.
And shove a stump up Donald's rump from sea to shining sea.

   You should hear them singing on a moonlit night.  Its enough to bring a tear to your eye.

   Before we get too far out into left field, let us give a brisk tug on the line, set the hook and haul the action back to this morning where the vog from Kilauea was no worse than usual and our aforementioned deity had spread oil upon the waters.   The Redoubtable SKG and I sped south, spurred by the observations of Gail DeLuke, who swore that a shark could be found at City of Refuge.  She may not recognize a devil when she sees one, but she not only had identified a shark but
had sent us a photograph of her very own making.

Sandra and Jeff fly through the Colombian jungle

    When we arrived at the beach at Honaunau, there was a tribe of divers crowding the beach and the area around the Two Step entry.  We were later to find that these were young scientists and this was their final day of the course on underwater science in which they were actually take a dive and make observations.

   The thirty or so wet suited Sheldon Coopers kindly gave way and Sandra and I were soon launched on our quest.  Sandra has made a firm request that what follows be not too specific in the way of location, so if it seems that I am obfuscating, that's not just the vog that is producing the murk.  We headed in the direction that Gail had suggested and without too much difficulty found the rock with the hole in it through which some swimmers dive.  Or is it divers swim?

   I assume that you have all watched Romancing the Stone.  This fenestrated bit of lava serves as the watery equivalent of El Tenedor del Diablo.  Diablo, of course, being my next door dickhead.  Oops.  I mean neighbor.

A Southbound Reticulated Butterflyfish

   Anyway, for the girls in the audience you can imagine you are completing this swim with a younger Michael Douglas, while us guys will imagine we are swimming with the lovely (and prone to unfortunate choices)  Joan Wilder.

   Beyond El Tenedor, we spotted a fine pair of Reticulated Butterflyfish.  What you see is the north end of a south bound retic.  I chose the picture that was in focus as opposed to the one that showed the fish in profile but wasn't in focus.  If you want to look at the whole fish, search Google images.

   At about this point, Joan Wilder runs into Juan.  In the movie Juan is played by Alfonso Arau (perhaps best remembered as El Guapo in the Three Amigos )  Here Juan is played by two chubby young women who have heard of the shark, looked for it on several occasions, but never found it.  

Slumbering White-tipped Reef Sharks

Just after the two Juans swim away,  Michael Douglas finds the shark.  He tries to call back the Juans, but they have gone in search of something sweet and edible.  Joan Wilder is at hand, though, and this is her first shark sighting in Hawaii.  Hurray for Joan!

   But wait!  There is not just one shark but two, lying side by side on the sand.  How womantic.  The larger is perhaps six feet in length.  Joan and Michael assume they are sleeping, because they are still except for the occasional open and closing of the gills and a bit of tail movement caused by the current.  We had expected to find a single shark much covered by a ledge.  Although this duo is in a crevasse between two parallel ridges, only their heads are truly under cover.  The water was clear and this was a wonderful look, a great opportunity for a photograph.

   Another couple shows up.  This girl, perhaps recovering from recent head trauma, sees four sharks.  Or possibly in our little screen play, she is portrayed by that wacky comedienne Goldie Hawn. That Goldie!  What a ditz.

   Try as we might, we were unable to wake up the sleeping sharks and so we bid them farewell.  On the way in, we saw an unusual sea cucumber.  This guy had well demarcated black patches.  When we got home we referred to john Hoover's critter book.  Hawaii's Sea Creatures and Other Delights shows 18 cukes in his critter book, this one is not in there.  Hmmm.

 John Hoover, by the way, lives way too close to Kilauea ... half way between the Halemaumau Crater and the twentyone lava spewing vents!  One might suspect that things are gettin' a little hot in Hooverville and we wish John and Marcia our best.  With luck they are riding out the eruption with friends on the mainland.  

Jackson's Chameleon. SKG and her Sanyo cell phone

   On the way home, we stopped by Greenwell's Coffee, which would probably not have made the blog except for a cracker jack look at a female chameleon.  We took a picture with Sandra's cell phone and a few with the water camera set on close up, so one gets that distance metered flash.  The judges have to give this one to the cell phone.   Regardless of one's choice in camera, she was a lovely animal and my only regret is that I am not a male Jackson's chameleon.  Which, of course, is a regret held by many of the people who, by the vicissitudes of fate, are thrust into my wayward orbit.

   You guys be happy and may all your sharks be sleepy ones.

 I can see the palm trees swaying, on the beach at Honaunau.
I can hear the Reef Sharks singing, "Komo mai, no kauai, wanna bitecha welekahau.

With thanks to  Johnny Noble, composer of Little Grass Shack in Kealakekua, Hawaii

The editorial staff at the blog gives a Get Well Soon shout out to our compadre Peter, who is one coronary stent to the good.  God bless ya, laddie.

Black-spotted Sea Cucumber