Swimming With the Church Ladies

   About a year ago, our church received a new pastor, the Reverend Sunny Ahn.  Sunny is a Korean girl who grew up in The San Fernando Valley, after emigrating as  a young teen.  To the best of my knowledge her posting at the Kona United Methodist Church was her first as head pastor.  And she wasn't entirely happy

Sandra, Jeff, Sunny and Kim Prepare to Snorkel Kailua Pier

about it.  She had come from a wealthy church in the east Bay where she was in charge of Asian Community relations...or something like that.  She really enjoyed living in the Bay Area and she was afraid of bugs and geckos.  Picture the bishop (who hauled her away from her urban bliss) as Eddie Albert and Sunny as Eva Gabor.

    At any rate, being a child of God, she embraced her new ministry with appropriate zeal.  A portion of her enthusiasm was directed at forming a variety of little ministries, one of which was the snorkeling/swimming ministry with your humble correspondent as program director.  The ministry, such as it was, lasted four or five sessions.  These sessions included only Sandra, Sunny and Kim, who is a really nice church lady serving as Sunny's adjutant.  And myself, of course.   In September Sunny went on one of her really quick trips to Europe ( a girl can't stay home all the time).  By  October the water was too cold.

Day Octopus, Kailua Pier June 2017

   The swimming ministry resumed in mid-June, when the water temperature achieved sufficient heavenliness.  As before, we were still at the pier, but this time we were joined by Judy and Darlene.  These latter had just emigrated from Concrete, Washington.  Judy is a little older and is recovering from a stroke.  Darlene is a
lifelong friend, a little younger, and is living with Judy as her care giver. They stayed on the narrow beach in lawn chairs while the Fearless Foursome went snorkeling.

    Despite growing up in Los Angeles, Sunny came to Kona more than a little afraid of the water (you can add the ocean to bugs and geckos).  We had been working through that when the swimming lessons stopped in October.  She now wore a wet suit, augmenting flotation to her yellow noodle, so it should have been impossible to sink.  Indeed, she put on her full face mask and we all headed out.

   This outing was highlighted by a superb octopus siting.  This stalwart was on a coral head halfway between the third swim buoy and the shore, so the top of the coral was only three or four feet below the surface.  He was a beautiful animal, doing all the octopus tricks...changing colors and textures, adopting different postures. He hung around so long that we eventually swam away with him still perched on top of his coral

throne.

    I sang my version of the doxology to the octopus and I was more than a little dismayed that my spiritual

Blue Goatfish. Kailua Kona Pier 2017  The flash reveals a face pattern.

advisor didn't join in.  She has a beautiful voice and if ever an octopus invoked the Holy Spirit this was the guy. Later on I would mention this to her in a tweet and she responded with a non-sequitur bible verse:
"Let us therefore make every effort to do what leads to peace and to mutual edification." (Romans 14:19)
which I took as a pastoral way of saying,"Mind your own business."

   On the way back to shore, Kim spotted a male Pacific boxfish.  She is getting into fish watching and on her own volition (with a little guidance from the Redoubtable SKG) has purchased a copy of the bible...John Hoover's Ultimate Guide to Heavenly Hawaiian Fishes.  After she enjoyed the boxfish I promised her a Whitley's trunkfish.

   Back ashore we reconnoitered with Darlene and Judy.  Being basically a softy, and knowing that Judy really wanted to get in the water (we are told that prior to the stroke she was an avid snorkeler), I helped her into the water where she floated around for a minute or two.  She tired fairly quickly, which was not a

Pacific Boxfish, Mahukona 2017

surprise and Darlene and I helped her ashore through the small surf which was lapping on the Ironman beach.  It has been one of my big hopes that if I ever am so afflicted, that someone will strap a mask on me and float me out to see the fish.

    The following Friday Sandra was sick, but she was kind enough to encourage me to go snorkeling with the church ladies.  It could be that she thought she would get better rest and recuperation with me out of the house for a few hours.

   Down at the pier I met up with Kim and Sunny.  We were joined by Terri, a lady of about my age, which is to say not especially young.  Like Judy, Terri had in her past been a diver and had a modest interest in marine wildlife.  As we were getting into the water, I learned that Terri was recovering from some sort of leg injury.

   Almost immediately I spotted an octopus just a yard or two off the sand.  He was in a depression in the coral head and in the process of hunkering down.  I got Terri over in time to see him before he disappeared.  At the last I could see his muscular arm, suction cups fully extended, as he manipulated two rocks in front of his body, effectively sealing the opening to the coral hide away.   I had read about this behavior, but never witnessed it first hand.   What an amazingly clever mollusc the octopus can be.  Here is a couplet that fits in to my version of Guantanamera:

Soy un pulpo en la bahia,
Que busca un coral amparo.

I am an octopus in the bay / Searching for a coral refuge.

   As we will see, an octopus can never be too careful.  

   We can all hum that Latin American favorite while I tell you what happened next.  We swam into the bay,

Devil Scorpionfish    All ya gotta do is drop a rock on him.

with me making scouting runs from Sunny, leading with the yellow noodle, Kim and Terry on each side.  Near the third swim buoy I spotted a devil scorpionfish.  Luckily, the church ladies weren't too far away and I was able to get them on the fish.  He was only about seven feet down, so they could see him clearly.  I explained about the orange and yellow pectoral fins and swam down and waved at the fish to encourage him to swim.   He was having none of it so I found a piece of coral rubble and dropped it a few inches from the fish. Still no swimming so I dove for another piece of rubble and sorta dropped it on the fish.  Well, that made him swim to shrieks of delight from my companions.

    A bit later I found Kim her Whitley's trunkfish.    At this point the distaff portion of the expedition headed for the beach.  I stayed out a while longer and was rewarded with a milletseed butterfly.  Before I could attempt a really good picture, he made his way into a coral and did not come out.

     Finally, on Sunday the church had a picnic at Old Airport Beach.   After we arrived, we realized that this was mostly a function for the Samoan contingent of the congregation.  In fact, there was Sandra and myself, the Jaegers, who had to come, two Koreans and 25 to 30 Samoans.

Whitley's Trunkfish, Kailua Pier 2017

   The congregation of our church is remarkably divided.  Roughly 50% are Caucasian, Japanese or some usual Hawaiian mix.  In his landmark novel, Hawaii, published in 1959, James Michener remarked on the new Hawaiian racial mix.  I believe he called it the golden man.  While it is quite common to find people who are pretty much Japanese or Philippino, it is equally common to encounter the Hawaiian mix.  For example, my good friend Jennifer Loasalio, the librarian, is Hawaiian, Philippine, Chinese and Portuguese.  I hope I got that right, but I'm sure you get the point.  A great many people living in Hawaii carry the genome of a variety of Asian and Caucasian peoples.  No wonder Jefferson Beauregard Sessions doesn't like our #islandinthe pacific.  That sort of miscegenation must make his pappy spin around in his moldering clan robe.

     Getting back to the church, 35% are Samoan and 15 % are Tongan.  suffice it to say, these other groups play a significant part in the operation of the church, the worship service, etc.  But they do not mix willingly with that aforementioned 50%.  And the Tongans and Samoans don't mix much with each other, as far as Sandra and I can tell. In addition to the regular service, they have their own.  There is a moderately large open building on the church property where the Samoans retire after church to smoke and have their own fellowship.  It is possible that they harbor traditional Samoan and Tongan religious beliefs.  Certainly in their separate services they engage in cultural activities not usually found in a Methodist church.  For example, the Tongans perform a kava ceremony.  There is no way for us to know the extent of these beliefs and activities.

   Samoa is an interesting place.  American Samoa is a large single island with a few much smaller islands.  It is a US Territory.  Samoa, formerly Western Samoa, is two large islands governed since the second world war by New Zealand.  It has been an independent country since 1967 and belongs to the Commonwealth.

At the Picnic

   Curiously, and this is only as far as we can tell,  virtually all the older Samoans in our church, the ones who
actually emigrated from Samoa to Hawaii, are from Samoa.   However, they make it clear that they were born in American Samoa.  One hears about Mexicans who cross the border so their children can be born in the United States and it appears that the same is true of Samoans.  Having said that, not everyone born in American Samoa is automatically granted US citizenship.  55,000 souls live in American Samoa and 185,000 live in Samoa. 

  So here we were on the blazing hot beach.  This afforded us the opportunity to visit with the few Samoans who will talk to us and Sunny's husband Sung.   Sung is a very amiable fellow of substantial girth.   When I asked him if he was excited about Sunny's experience with the octopi his repose, and this did not change no matter how much I pleaded the cephalopod's case, was that his only interest in octopus was in the eating.  They are delicious and should be consumed as quickly as possible.  There was one Samoan lady who was obligated to sit with us (as far as we could tell).  Peteh is the wife of Navy Mareko, the lay leader of the Samoan congregation and the pater familas of one of the clans, there in. Peteh was of the same mind as Seung; if there was a known octopus, someone should go out and get it (for the pot.)  I felt like saying,  "Don't you have any respect for God's

Honor thy mother, thy father and thy octopus!

creatures?  Don't you know when you kill an octopus it makes Jesus cry?"


    Sadly, there is no biblical basis for venerating or even protecting wild animals, be they moose or octopi.  In fact, the closest the bible comes to dealing with these animals is old testament scripture stating whether or not a Hebrew is permitted to eat them.  The new testament is even worse.  No matter how I might wish it, there is no gospel evidence that Jesus gave wild animals a single thought.  At times like this,  I have to wonder if I am in the right church.  For now, it seems that Sandra and I we will have our own little contingent of two and revere the octopus in a private ceremony. 

Praise Octopus the Holy Ghost,
jeff